the smile

each instance a dagger that stabs my chest
i want to scream back, but this a road i decided to take
...so the only thing i can do is to smile outside while inside deep i shed tears
yes, i am persistent...but not impervious

conserve

i feel i must conserve...

and prepare to camp out.

but a question is posed -

are you really conserving?

or is it fear that grips you?

Lord, help me through this...

moon on the water (beat crusaders)

Full moon sways...
Gently in the night of one fine day.
On my way...
Looking for a moment with my dear.
Full moon waves.
Slowly on the surface of the lake.
You were there...
Smiling in my arms for all those years.
What a fool...
I don't know 'bout tomorrow...
What it's like to be.

I was sure,
Couldn't let myself to go.
Even though i feel...
The end.
Old love affair...
Floating like a bird resting her wings.
You were there...
Smiling in my arms for all those years.
What a fool...
I don't know 'bout tomorrow...
What it's like to be.

I was sure,
Couldn't let myself to go.
Even though i feel...
The end.
Full moon sways...
Gently in the night of one fine day.
You are there.
Smiling in my arms for all those years...

low ebb folk song

it feels like the last strand of summer
feels like the end of the day
nothing to get up for tomorrow
everything caught in decay

walking through this changing season
sorrow spreads it wings
we can't keep a hold on time
just receive what it will bring

juvenile noodles

i didn't get to "write" what i wanted to "write" today. i have no problems writing...

...but writing with noodles using a chopstick is hard. i was too slow. i got caught in the act.

dang. i need to practice and get it right the next time.

i have a pair of chopsticks - now i just need to get some noodles on a plate.

all this pasta talk is giving me brand new ideas.

hmmn..."that" would be even more juvenile....lol

poetry in motion

its simply poetry in motion...

the way she moves her lips and smiles
you feel muted in awe
the way how they gaze at you - those eyes

how she speaks her mind and reacts
she listens with an ear for detail, a class of her own
make no mistake - that's a fact

like a silent star in the sky
she makes no sound
but her presence overwhelms - one cannot deny

sometimes i think if this is a dream
because such a being is rare - such a soul divine
God's gift is what she seems

like a poet in need
i long to see her everyday
i am truly inspired

poetry in motion indeed

blow off some steam(punk)

now that i've gotten the angst out from my system...i can write about the better side of life again.

i'm a huge fan of Jules Verne...and any fan of his is sure to be familiar with the term "Steampunk". most might think its about it as...but no, its not about music. if you want some clues, think about the theme in the following movies:

• Wild Wild West
• League of Extraordinary Gentlemen
• The Time Machine

the victorian age of discovery where huge clunky steam powered machines give life to modern or futuristic concepts like beam weapons, flying machines and submarines - this is what steampunk is all about. currently, ive taken interest in this genre of scifi and tried to find some pictures. they say steampunk is the next "in thing". in the meantime, im trying to find more steampunk tidbits...but as fas as the research i've done about it...it'll be D.I.Y. projects. hmmn....a steampunk laptop... (my laptop needs a design overhaul...)


gotta have goggles - it aint steampunk without goggles! =)

the time

one can only be silent so far - then you realize...its the time.

one can only wait so far - then you realize...its the time.

one can only remain civil so far - then you realize...its the time.

one can only be pushed so far - then you realize...its the time.

love waits. then realize that this entry is different - it is not about love.

i am mad. i am angry.

friends are supposed to support - not ruin you.

days divine

days divine
simply like no other
under rainy night skies
words were uttered
taken from within
nothing else mattered
gaze into mysterious eyes
enchanted by a radiant smile
amidst the noise of the city
the wind blew cold
time paused
space warped
longing that instance
...wishing it wouldn't stop
a moment given by God
a gift to man
for faith
for believing
such days truly are
days divine

it happened today

Today... after much care of my 2nd m:robe, the jack where you plug the earphones has given out. i love my mp3 player and i don't want to replace it - besides, i don't think i can get it anywhere seeing that Olympus discontinued it. with the red glow of the interface on a sleek black touchscreen, it oozes with so much sophistication - aside from the impressive sound of course! <3

my 1st one, slipped through my hands and dropped in a very violent way. when i got home, the hard drive wouldn't work anymore. then i brought a new one and swore i would be more careful with it =0

with my less than impressive record of D.I.Y-ing (and messing a lot of stuff in the past), i was bent on opening in order to fix it. with much fear, i removed the screws, then the back casing and started to tweak its innards... and then i figured it out =)

...it can be fixed after all, and i did it! but this thing wont last forever... i wonder if by any remote chance, its still being sold someplace?

i had a creative player before, but the cheap plastics scream "no character" all over the place. i hope Olympus decides to manufacture m:robes again =(

my attempt at fixing my 1st m:robe failed miserably. i hope this time it works for real.

sigh...here we go again.

full circle

immensity of the surge
electricity in my chest
i'm thrown to the ground
here comes the best
jaw dropped and fell
lines and scribbles in my chest
defenses collapse
only a heart full of zest
gazing from afar
frozen in awe all day
mouth is open
much words to say
angel to my eyes
standing on a different stage
visage so dreamy
simply out of gauge
come with me
this is the end of the play
let you see what i see
let you feel what what i feel

drown me in your light

She takes me under stormy waters
Cradles my head as sleep comes on
I'll drown in her eyes, dream in daylight
Wakes again in her twilight

romance of the three kingdoms

of all the countries in this part of Asia, only the Philippines does not know of the book Romance of the Three Kingdoms. one of the 4 great Chinese classical novels, it is immensely known outside of China as well, but never made the same impact here in the Philippines. our Spanish and American influence definitely had a stronger influence molding our culture that we recognize western classics more even if we haven't really read any of it.

id like to get a copy of this classic, but in spite all my efforts - i have not found it anywhere. i can try specialty shops in Binondo, but i'm pretty sure that its going to be in Chinese if i do find one. I studied a bit of Mandarin, well just book 1 that is and i don't even recall less than a quarter of what i was taught.

the classic was based on another book Chronicles of the Three kingdoms, but the latter is a history book and the former, the romanticized version. Stories of honor, brotherhood, loyalty, betrayals, strategy fill its pages. and except for the tyrannical Dhong Zhuo who died early in the novel, all the factions that play in the war for unity are considered heroes - unlike majority of western literature which are dialectical in plot. 3 kingdoms, 1 land, a hundred chracters, a thousand actions, but a single goal - peace through unification of the land.

i cant wait for the 2nd part of one of its movie renditions, Red Cliff. if anyone out there knows where i can get a copy of the book in the Philippines, leave me comments please.

excerpt:
They all took an oath, saying, "When saying the names Liu Bei, Guan Yu and Zhang Fei, although the surnames are different, yet we have come together as brothers. From this day forward, we shall join forces for a common purpose, and come to each other's aid in times of crisis. We shall avenge the nation from above, and pacify the citizenry from below. We seek not to be born on the same day, in the same month and in the same year. We merely hope to die on the same day, in the same month and in the same year. May the gods of heaven and earth attest to what is in our hearts. If we should ever do anything to betray our friendship, may the gods in heaven strike us dead."

let there be sound!

finally! after much HTML tweaking, FTP site hunting and MP3 editing... my blog has the intro music (literally) i wanted it to have!

hope you like it.

(quite avant garde initially, but very laid back really...)

talking to myself

ME: i cant sleep. i cant seem to find sleep recently. i always manage to wake up in untimely hours of the day. yes - day...or i wouldn't name this blog Dreams in Daylight wouldn't it? i'm a good 2 hours away from where i work. i come home tired, but when i jump in bed and fire up my laptop...

i know what youre going to say... lose the laptop. you know how i'm a sentimental guy. i have alot of old stuff in my laptop. sorry to the guys out there, its not porn.

MYSELF: (ORLY??? hmmn...)

ME: seriously, i have stuff that i shouldn't really be keeping. like old photos i took and vids i made for a girl.

MYSELF: (see? it really IS porn!)

ME: no you pervert. senti stuff. i keep them to remember the good times.

MYSELF: (really now...do they?)

ME: well, seeing them makes me fell good at start, but i end up feeling like a squashed bug.

MYSELF: (dumb kid. get rid of them).

ME: i prolly should, but you never know...

MYSELF: (you still believe in that? for real?)

ME: i cant help it. im a hopeless romantic.

MYSLEF: (hopeless... yes you really are hopeless)

ME: actually, its been a long time since i last viewed them...like a year. im sooo over that and i already took them out of my hard drive a long time ago as well.

MYSELF: (oh, ok then so whats the problem?)

ME: im doing a blog now...

MYSLEF: (a blog? you stopped writing a looong time ago. so do you mean...)

ME: yes... i cant keep my mind off... i haven't been struck like this. you know that.

MYSELF: (i know. here we go again... fire up your Ash playlist. ill go make pizza. you reek of cheese).

ME: hee hee. i knew you'ld understand.


note: no... im not schizophrenic. just a little crazy over... =)


<---i only have hentai in my laptop. see?

ash

men generally are poor in communicating what they truly feel - and thus, they try to find others gifted enough to come up with words that do...and though i believe i can stand on my own in terms of expression - i feel the need to promote people that i think do a better job at doing so.

such is this childish song i so childishly enjoy. lol.

Oh Yeah
(Written by Tim Wheeler of Ash)

Oh Yeah she was taking me over
Oh Yeah it was the start of the summer

On warm June evenings
She would come to my house
Still in her school skirt
And her summer blouse
Talking too long as the night came on
It was the best time of my life
Her bee stung lips,
Kisses sweeter than wine
The things she whispered
With breathless sighs
The summer air was soft and warm
Her eyes were making silent demands
And as her hair came undone in my hands

Oh Yeah she was taking me over
Oh Yeah it was the start of the summer

Driving her home after midnight
I felt so good everything was alright
Her thoughts seemed so lost in the night sky
I remember everything
I don't know why these things ever end
I sometimes wish it was that summer again
I still see her in my sleep
And hear the sighing of the summer wind
Still I don't regret one thing

Oh Yeah she was taking me over
Oh Yeah it was the start of the summer
It felt just like it was the start of forever
Oh Yeah it was the start of the summer

the walls of jerico

falling into obscurity. fading into nothingness. far too long have i romanticized the tragic hero. not that i regret it - it was somewhat good for me since i think i matured as an individual by taking the 3rd person perspective.

what i don't like though is losing contact a lot of friends and contacts. well, the net is really helpful - making this less of a task. i have a whole lot of catching up to do though, my self imposed exile is over. this blog is my return to life... i am immensely inspired right now.


i can write once again. the songs i have listened to for years begin to have meaning once more and they touch my heart and feed my soul like it used to be.

no, this is not the same thing all over again. i am not reliving my old life. i am continuing where i left off. pain is there to remind us that we are alive...its not what kills us - its us who kill ourselves.

the walls have crumbled. free all angels.

waking up

i woke up at 2am today. it's nothing new for me, but something else was - my eyes opened with my mind on someone i've eyed silently from afar for some time.

i claim no uniqueness to my story...only that i was trying to fight the feeling off. perhaps the fact that my weakness lies in intimate relationships that i was a "little" (yeah right...) nervous to try it again. its a weakness of mine...something i need to fix real quick (cause the people around me joke about it...and you know jokes are always half meant)

don't get me wrong, i've managed to bounce back on a lot of difficult times in my life...but its my relative inexperience in the realm of love that makes it hard for me. perhaps its because i consider the 1st real relationship i had as a surreal experience. events transpired that made me feel like i was living scenes in a romantic feel-good movie...getting stranded in a bus in a stormy night, the childish quarrels, naughtiness in private moments, hiding, getting caught, running away, etc... everything but the end fell into place, fitting like a jigsaw puzzle with the one last piece missing.

letting go was pretty traumatic. i was on the last leg of my college life that i decided to go "all for it". being out on my last moment for academic glory made me realize that i needed to go real serious with studies - i wanted to get a good job...i wanted to pop the "magic question". but alas, like what they say, you don't really forget your 1st love and in a moment, she got back with hers

i made a sacrifice, agreed to call it quits and fade into obscurity for her sake. that's when i started to change, i felt a great emptiness that made me challenge the "codes" that i valued. Perhaps my childish idealism proved no match against the harsh realities of life.

my 2nd attempt at a relationship didn't help either - as emptiness grew uglier as i sacrificed a then, very promising career for someone younger back then. to this day people called me a fool because of it. i have no regrets though - i made a choice and poured heart and soul into it. those where the best days of my life so far. She's in Italy right now - fulfilling one of her dreams. i sometimes dream of meeting her again (i even tried practicing what i might say. lol )...but i dont know if that day will ever come. maybe its just me, but i likely think so because i ended up being 2nd choice again... one thing is for sure - nothing will ever be the same - including me.

right now, i'm at the crossroads again. waking at 2am on my rest day for someone who longs to sleep nights (yeah, i work the night shift - and is precisely why this blog is called "Dreams in Daylight) is a rarity. i suppose trying to fight the feeling is a losing battle for me.

but you know what, this is one battle i'm happy to be losing.